dropping out of school to become part of a chicken nugget cult
I’m anti-feminist for many of the same reasons I’m an atheist.
So you don’t believe women exist?
Its okay. I’m an atheist because I don’t believe in something I can’t see or touch. I suppose women are much like that for you.
Somebody get him some ice.
Had this cutie at work tonight. He just learned how to pick up his ears 😍
the worst is having a dream where someone loves you and you can practically feel them touching you and it feels so real and then you wake up and it’s like the life is being sucked out of you and the happiness just drains out of your body and you feel empty again
"wow that tv program we were watching last night was really sad, about anne boleyn? all because she had a girl??? what ever happened to that little girl anyway?" - my mom
oh you know
|Reasons to marry me:||We'd eat pizza and listen to good music together and we'd probably fuck 14 times a week and buy too many pets and build pillow forts.|
a person complaining about puns basically invites every pun enthusiast in the vicinity to come snapping rhythmically from the shadows
what if i ordered pizza in the middle of the hurricane.
they yelled at me.